I got an email from Hubby while at work yesterday saying, “I think I’m coming down with something. Can you pick me up cold medication?” Ten minutes later, “I could also use some cough drops.” Five minutes after that, “You may also want to grab some nose spray. I’m really congested.”
By now I’m thinking, CRAP. He’s gonna get super sick and infect my house and not go to class and fail out of college and and and… You know, because I worry.
Well I got home, after picking up a pharmacy’s worth of various medications, to Hubby smiling and laughing and watching the pre-game. Huh, maybe he’s just overexaggerating. Cool. No big deal. Well, it must have been sime if the ild meds that we had, because he got progressively worse throughout the duration of the Super Bowl and by the time 845pm came around I had to pry him off of the couch because he was sleeping and snoring. He went to bed right away, but “couldn’t sleep” because he “couldn’t breath”. Whatever, Pansy. And he woke me up to tell me this. I, gently, suggested that he go take a nice hot shower, burn that crap out of his head and come back to bed.
When I woke up this morning he was sleeping on the couch shivering. Now I feel extra bad and am babying him even more because I don’t want him to get worse. Being a mother to a 28 year old is just so damn hard.

Hubby just informed me that there is a reunion for his unit in Myrtle Beach in June. I need to shift my weight loss plan into overdrive if I am going to compete with all those blonde bombshells that the Marines are so famous for bedding.
Crap on a cracker.

I don’t care if this makes me a bad person, but I don’t feel bad for the Floridians suffering from the sleet and snow.  ESPECIALLY for the snow birds from other states.  You can deal with it for one week out of every hundred years.  Be better prepared next time.

I’m really upset that my pole dancing class was cancelled due to the weather on Thursday.  I am also really upset that Frenchie didn’t sign up to take it with me. 

I lose things.  Without even trying.  Sometimes I’m drunk and my brand new, cell phone birthday present falls out of my painted-on tight pants and I don’t find it for 6 months.  Then I find it miraculously by accident.

Sometimes I think I set something somewhere and actually I have placed it somewhere else and wander around and around and around until I find it where I placed originally.

Sometimes I am not the reason that my things get lost.  I become frantic and sad and consider jumping off of buildings and running outside, naked in the cold to take my mind off of the hysteria.

Yesterday was one of those times.  And, this could be considered an Apple commercial.  Pay attention, Steve Jobs!

of 2009 to ya!

Nothing like the end of a decade to make you stop and think about the past.  In the last 10 years I have started high school, graduated high school, start colleged, graduated college, gotten married and gotten a real, big-person job.  That’s a lot in 10 years.  And some of it is of mild importance!

But, I have to say, that I am not too unhappy about this year coming to an end.  This decade, while riddled with good times for sure, was not a very happy time for me.  I have been floundering the last few years and really need to find a sense of purpose and a place to belong.  Now, some would say that I belong in my family and starting a new one with Husband would be the next, logical step.  Some would say that I need to throw myself into my work because that is where our livelyhood is going to come from.  Others would say that I need to do only that which would make me happy and give me lasting memories of joy.

Ideally, I would like to do all of that.  And then some.

Here are some goals, in no particular order, of things that I would like to do, and see happen, in the next 10 years:

• Get into a graduate school for Sex Therapy or Marriage and Family Therapy
• Start a family
• Get new carpeting in our current house
• Psychologist job at the VA hospital or Private Practice on either of the coasts
• Get a new house
• Volunteer at the local Humane Society
• Get Hubby a new car
• Take a nice vacation, every other year
• World Peace

Okay, so that last one is kind of a stretch, but it’s a worthwhile goal to be sure.  I don’t want to have to move to Canada to avoid a draft. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I am the only person that my Uncle-In-Law kisses on the cheek when greeting the family for the holidays.  It’s not as creepy as it sounds.  It’s like our way of saying, “We married into this wierdness and can find solace with one another because of it.”  I think it helps the two of us connect in a family that is very self-involved.  When I write it out, it sounds like they neglect or ignore us.  Again, it sounds worse than it is.

FOR ONCE!

I made my own, heirloom quality, Christmas stocking.  This may not be a big deal to some, and to others, this may be gargantuan.  But this is WAY impressive for me.  I don’t plan things out in advance, so when I thought of sewing Christmas stockings in November, I knew I had to jump on the chance.

Now, I had planned to embroider them with some funky Gingerbread men, or stiched ornaments, or what not a la Urban Threads, but they are just too perfect as is!  Check them out!

From yards of fabric...

...to rectangles made of uneven strips

...then comes the decorative stiching

Lest we forget the fur topper!

Huzzah!  Something I can use for my family in the coming years and be proud to say that I hand-crafted!

So one of my overtly gay friends was talking today about how he was so excited to sell expensive handbags to bratty girls and their hott college boyfriends and dads.  I’m neither gay, nor a bratty girl, and I am very offended by that, but I can’t put my finger on why.

How is it that so much wonderful “free” mind time is on the toilet?

• Realized that I put my underwear on inside out this morning.  I prefer it this way because the outside is so much silkier than the inside.
• The upstairs bathroom at work smells like a really nice kitty litter.  Like what a fresh bag would smell like for the first 3 seconds before you realize that it’s clay and bad for your lungs and unborn babies.
• Ideally, I want a job where I can just be pretty and nice all day.  And maybe have some sex.  Then I realized, I was thinking about prostitution!  #Awesome