The last question in this article struck me in a particular way. Read it, think, and get back to me.
Here is it for those of you who are clicking impared.
Q: I’m 52 and my wife is 44. She informed me in no uncertain terms: no more sex. So far, that’s how it is. I’m not ready to end my sex life. Is seeking sex elsewhere acceptable in this case?
Have you formulated an opinion? Good.
I’m trying to decide whether or not I agree with Mr. Alexander. Marriage should be all about compromise, but what do you do when you are at an impasse as simple, yet at the same time, complicated, as this one? I DO believe that sexual expression is a basic human right, but when are you free to seek intimate sexual relations outside of marriage? Is there ever a time when cheating on your spouse is okay?
I really like his idea of a contract being written up, but isn’t marriage already the contract? Under no means should someone have sex against their will. High school health class teaches us that this is rape and should not be tolerated. Nor should someone be subjected to the other person sleeping around because they “don’t get it enough”. (Especially if the other person IS willing to have more sex.)
Had I been answering said Asker, I would have to recommend an open and honest talk with the wife to see why exactly the sex should stop. (It is very vague and I have a very curious mind.)
What are your thoughts? Should the husband commit to celebacy for the rest of his marriage (assuming this means to death do you part)? Or should he ask his wife’s permission to take on a bed mate or keep a girlfriend?
I fully agree that a discussion is in order. If his wife is demanding no more sex with her, it’s only fair that she be willing to compromise and allow him to explore sex outside of the marriage. (At least, that’s what I think). However, obviously guidelines would need to be established and both individuals would have to be on the same page with expectations and limitations in check. Exploring sex outside of the marriage needs to be done openly for it to be “ok” and not adulterous. Still, very complicated indeed.
By: hautepocket on June 16, 2009
at 1:06 pm
I personally think that withholding sex indefinately should render the marriage contract null and void. That is my opinion. God also has a say in the matter and I shall research that and get back to you but I am pretty sure it is not in His plans….so I say Put out or get out….
By: cre8tivecrys on June 18, 2009
at 9:35 pm