While at work today, I felt the urge for a nice quick poop. You know the kind; not a rumbly in the tumbly, and not a stopped up feeling, but a movement that will take no time at all; get in, get out, and get you back to the task at hand. Now that I’ve grossed you out for the day, the story.
I’m on the potty, doing my thing, when a woman comes in, and just by the sound of her shoes I can tell that she’s gotta go. Really gotta go. It was the hurried shuffled walk of a woman who was most likely trying to ignore the urge to continue working. A good friend once told me: never push, and never hold it in, and you won’t have any intestinal issues.
Anyway, so this woman sits down on the toilet, and the usual sounds commence. I am of the opinion that if you need to make a sound on the pot, do so, because where else in life can you make fart sounds without being called juvenile or disgusting? She was most definitely abusing the privelege. She didn’t SHUT UP! It was one moan and groan after another the whole time I was finishing up, washing my hands, and walking out the door. Either she ate something that didn’t agree with her, or someone needs to get that woman some Danactive. Anyways, I felt embarrassed FOR her because she sounded like she was in so much pain. But I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing because it was just too good! The whole time I was in the bathroom I was thinking, “Oh my God, I can’t wait to blog this!”
AND because I just saw that new poll button at the top of the Post box, I’m going to utilize it!
I must have popped in a few minutes after her because the smell in the bathroom was FOUL…like almost throw up disgusting. If you make a smell so bad it will wilt plants then please PLEASE use the spray that is provided for that purpose. Just to take the edge off….
By: cre8tivecrys on October 17, 2008
at 2:15 pm
Did she at least ‘courtesy flush’? That’s the very least you can do when stinking up a public bathroom.
By: ginger17 on October 17, 2008
at 7:27 pm
unfortunately no. she did not ‘courtesy flush’ much to my dismay.
By: static monkey on October 18, 2008
at 1:45 pm
I am so glad, that for once, the smelly person in the bathroom was not me.
There was this one time I was throwing up in one stall, and in the next one some poor woman was having what sounded like explosive diarrhea. Talk about a wicked stench. Vomit and turds. I wonder if it was the same woman, because she was making some massive moans too.
By: traveltweet on October 18, 2008
at 10:30 pm
[...] Monkey: she is hilarious. This post made me rethink what goes on in public [...]
By: Word To Your Mom: Blah Blog Day Edition « Knockout Niki Presents. on October 24, 2008
at 3:21 pm